Self-improvement through the enactment of hypothetical situations.
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What sort of hypothetical situations, Mr. Morgrool?
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Well, let’s see. First, we shall think of a situation, and then, we shall think of what you should do in this situation! Won’t that be fun? Very improving, I mean. Wait, better idea! We shall think what would happen if evil, hot-pink bunnies invaded the earth! Oh, that would be too frivolous. Never mind.
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1-Undoubtedly unfrivolous ones. Very dull, mundane, and sober situations, I am sure.
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what if the bunnies stole all the bow ties?
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Okay. “I bought a new tie.”
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2- I don’t know if it will be especially fun. *sighs*
*whispers* I miss the MuseBlog RPGs. *sniffles*
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POSOC hurried, gasping, through the library. The shelves were stripped bare, except for one filled with blank-spined books in various shades of brown. They really had cleaned out everything. Still, he couldn’t believe that the GRIMS had enough imagination to think of a secret passage, much less find and search one. He pressed on an unpainted patch of paneling, and the wall whirred aside, revealing a metal door stitched with biohazard signs.
He entered the access code and, with a grunt of effort, swung the heavy door back. The room beyond was cheerfully lit. Four CD players in the corners, each with six redundant speakers and hooked up to a bank of industrial batteries, softly played the Blue Danube Waltz in perfect unison.
POSOC crossed the room to the circle etched on the floor, stepped over the interweaving lines of runes and emoticons, and picked up the book that lay at the exact center. He swallowed, gathering his strength. He had sworn never to do this, had argued vehemently against its presence on the campus, had claimed that there could never be a greater threat than that contained in this book.
Now one had appeared, and he knew that the only hope for Musery, no matter how desperate, lay between the pages of the Lagomorphinomicon.
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Not very active, this thread isn’t. I miss the MB role plays.
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Alice nudged the porridge on her plate. She would have been relieved to see it move, just for a bit of excitement. But it was as lifeless and colorless as everything else in Studge Academy. She touched her collarbone and smiled to feel the outline of her silver pendant still there, then marshaled her features into a mask of solemnity and obedience as a GRIM walked past the table.
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8- Yes! *agrees* I miss the MB role- Oh, sorry, I will stop shouting. *whispers* I completely agree. This is orderly, too orderly. And… *checks if there are any GRIMs around* I do not like orderly.
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If you’re at a loss, I daresay you’d discover some improvement of both skills and insight by role-playing household chores or obedience to your elders.
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“Do your mathematics homework,” said Ms. Snorgswattle. “It will improve your mind.”
“Yes, Ms. Snorgswattle,” replied Granite Basalt dutifully. “I finished the review packet on radicals, so I will now do the problems on similarity.”
“Good.”
Granite Basalt walked over to the table and opened her textbook to page 356. This math homework was mind-numbingly boring, but she had to do it.
17. In right triangle ABC, CD is the altitude to hypotenuse AB. If AC=6 and AB=12, find AD.She seriously had to hand this in?
She took out her notebook. The pages were edged in pink.
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Agatha straightened the tight grey bonnet on her head, struggling against the thick weight of the yarn strings against her pale chin. The library was almost completely deserted, and she sat alone in a straight-backed chair, flipping over the pages of her prototype Studge Academy Handbook For Proper Behaviour in her fingers and pretending to read as the thin-lipped librarian watched over her with an expression of disgust. Aggie sighed, straightened her skirt, an item that she thought to nondescript for words, and crossed one ankle behind the other, scratching at a spot where the thick wool of her knee-high socks itched her leg.
“Both feet on the floor, young lady,” the librarian rasped.
“Yes, ma’am,” she replied. Her black Mary Jane shoes hit the floor faster than she finished her soft-spoken sentence. Word after word, page after page of small, black print and ridiculous rules. The rules strictly prohibit chewing gum; consuming carbonated beverages; consuming noncarbonated beverages; consuming chocolate in any form; singing; fidgeting… These were her least favorite of the rules. She placed her head back down, toungue aching for water and a nice strawberry rhubarb pie.
She sat for ten more long, drawn-out minutes, until the librarian walked away from her slate-colored desk.
“Stay in this seat until I return, hooligan,” the librarian said. “You are not finished with your punishment yet.”
“Yes, ma’am,” said Aggie again, not looking up.
“Excuse me?” the librarian asked.
“Yes, Missus Flack, ma’am,” Aggie replied. She waited until the tall woman had strode from the tall library doors, and then heaved a great sigh. She got up from her cahir and walked among the empty bookshelves, running her hands over them and trying to remember Muse Academy as it had been. Books about skipping, books about baking, books about books about books…it made her want to cry. She was about to run to the lavatory when a figure burst through the doors and strode inside. It was POSOC. She had not seen him in ages, not since the House sorting, and she watched as he pressed an unpainted panel on the wall and entered a code, going into a secret room. She dared not follow. She was already in trouble, had already broken so many rules…She waited, silent, among the brown-spined handbooks, shelves and shelves of ridiculous rules and etiquitte…
Suddenly, POSOC re-emerged, a large book in his hand. He was about to leave when she leapt out.
“Wait!” she cried. She had shouted, another rule broken, but she did not care. What did it matter now? He stopped and turned around.
“Aggie!” he said, a bit hurriedly. “I-”
“What’s that?” she asked, walking over. She stopped when she caught sight of it. A hand drew back to her mouth, and her handbook fell to the floor with a loud clatter.
“What is that…doing here?” she whispered in a low voice.
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Carrot was bored. She wanted to rebel, and she felt mischievious. she was fidgety.
“Stop being fidgety.” said Ms. Snorgswattle.
“Okay,” said Carrot, and kept fidgeting. When the teacher wasn’t looking, she threw a carrot at the wall. It left a ting mark, too tiny to notice. but she smiled to herself, for in her heart, she knew she was winning.
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Zinc (but the GRIMs made her rename herself to Emily- ick)her head through the secret chamber. “Is that you, POSOC?” she whispered. He started.
” Yeah,” he said, running a hand through his hair. “Close the door, will you? no one better find this. We’d be punished severely.”
Zinc/Emily did so and shuddered inwardly, remembering what happened the time a teacher had discovered her in her dormitory with a contraband chemistry set, trying to make chocolate.
((teh rebi//iun iz stil goig on btw >:) ))
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Alice, having prodded the porridge until it was quite cold and as stiff as a rock and dabbled her fingers in the tea in a failed attempt to warm them, stood and left the tea room in disgust. She was halfway down the hall to her dormitory when she realized that something warm was lying against her neck. She put her hand up, and found her pendant was throbbing slightly. Glancing hurriedly around the corridor, she pulled it from under the cover of her shirt and fumbled with the clasp until it snapped and the necklace came away in her hands.
“Cake!” she muttered, but then she saw the pendant.
It was molded into the shape of a delicate, twining flower, and had once been silver, but now it was pink as though reflecting light and astonishingly warm.
Alice shoved the item into the pocket of her skirt and walked stiffly down the hall, her heart beating so loudly that she was terrified that a GRIM would appear around the corner and ask her what the noise was.
Finally she reached what had once been the student lounge. Only Granite Basalt was there, dutifully bent over her math book. Alice tapped her on the shoulder. “RoseQuartz!” she hissed.
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((Aggie and POSOC, you should come to the student lounge. I’m determined to make something of this particular RPG.))
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17*whispers*Okey-doke.
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((OK, for continuity purposes, let’s say that Zinc and I just left the Waltz Room when Agrrfishi showed up.))
The three Studgers gaped at one another for a long moment. Then POSOC quickly beckoned. “Come on,” he said. “Student Lounge. If anybody finds this, we’re dead.”
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((Darg! Editing my previous post:))
Zinc slipped around the corner as she saw the stuffy librarian leave, into the library. Aggie and POSOC were speaking to each other. She crept over. “Hi,” she breathed. They still started.
Aggie said, “Oh, hi… Emily? Zinc, do you prefer-”
“Zinc,” Zinc replied bitterly. “Call me Zinc.”
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“Here,” Aggie offered. “I will put it in my uniform book bag so that nobody can see. ”
POSOC handed over the book very cautiously. Aggie placed it gingerly in her bag, along with her other textbooks which were all very thin and yet suspiciously heavy. The cause of their inproportionate weight was due to the fact that she had slid small bars of chocolate between the pages, which her lovely saint of a mother had been sending her secretly through mail by dove. The birds were just petite enough to land silently on the sill of her windows, which was no more than a foot wide, and slipped comforting letters and sweets to her in lovely lavender envelopes. Aggie missed her mother so, and even these loving acts were now against the law. She was not meant to be a rule-breaker, but sadly, the school itself was turning her into one.
“Be very careful with that,” POSOC warned. “We must not lose it. Nothing can happen to it.”
Suddenly, there were footsteps from down the hall. Someone was headed ina straight beeline towards them.
“It’s the librarian!” hissed Zinc. “Run, quickly! Hide!”
“I forgot my handbook in th-” Aggie begin, but Zinc and POSOC grabbed her arms and dragged her away down the opposite direction of the corridor to their left.
Just look what you have done to yourself, she lamented silently.
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[[I am shocked! Are you truly enacting a rebellion against the beloved GRIMs?]]
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20- I’ll reply to that. Ignore 19.
“No time for small talk,” POSOC interrupted. “We need to get to the Lounge. Alice has got the Key* with her.”
((*Pendant.))
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Meanwhile……
Kiwimuncher picked up a slice of delectable brie from the table and turned her music up as several other rebelious musebloggers joined the cheese party. Cheese for everyone! Chedder! Provolone! Gouda! Feta! Chevra! Muenster! Edom! Gorgonzola! Romano! All so delectable! All so delicious! All so rebelious! Down with tea and porridge! Cheese for every occasion! I push my dark sunglasses back up my and nose laugh uproariously.[Translate]
22- No, sir. This is merely a place to air out and purge our most reprehensible desires so that our minds may become more disciplined and worthy in future.
Warning: This production contains possibly subversive ideals and is strictly for
entertainmenteducational purposes. Do not attempt to emulate the actions of the protagonists..
.
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HeckyesI’mrebellingwhynot?
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.
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Granite Basalt turned around. “Don’t–” she began, but was interrupted by the violent opening of the door and the bursting-in of Aggie, POSOC, and Zinc in a clearly very agitated state of mind. Alice was agitated too.
“Look!” she said to them, opening her fist and displaying the brilliant pendant, which was now beginning to melt. “Someone’s got the…you know.”
“We do,” said POSOC.
“It’s here,” said Aggie, patting her bag.
Alice breathed a sigh of relief. “I was afraid maybe the GRIMs found it.”
“No worries,” said POSOC.
Alice slipped the pendant back into her pocket. “That’s useless now. But we can’t exactly dispose of it–any color around here stands out like a beacon of hope.”
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23- My thoughts exactly. -winks- Only wait–not quite exactly. Let’s delete my last paragraph saying it’s useless.
If post 26 is too power-play-y, feel free to ignore it. I wasn’t sure if I should put dialogue in, but it seems to be what people are doing nowadays.
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((This will be fun.))
Kai saw the group in the hallway and guessed what was going on.
“I’ll buy some time. Go!” She whispered quickly.
The librarian soon turned the corner.
“Ms. Yves-Cousteau, why are you loitering in the hall? You should be in class.” She asked.
“I apologize, Madame. I just wanted to know if you carry any comic books.” Kai responded.
“Comic books? Of course not. The things those flights of fancy do to young minds. I could give you demerits for even speaking of such a thing. ”
Her friends would be at the end of the hall by now. Hopefully they wouldn’t run into anyone else.
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Groundhog dashed down the hallway, her brightly colored clothing and backpack sticking out like a sore thumb. Luckily for her, the GRIMs were too refined to chase her, preferring to follow her at a more sedate pace. She rushed into the student lounge, closing the door quietly. No need to let the GRIMs know exactly where she was. She saw a group of her classmates standing in a huddle. “What’s going on?” she panted.
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With glee, kiwimuncher bites into a large slice of dubliner. Ah. So delicious. A few other rebels are dancing around the tables to the beat of a poplar tune.5 knocks sound on the door to the room and kiwimuncher leaps up to answer it. She doesn’t recognize the face, but they knew the passing knock, so it was OK. Most likely, it was one of the newly invited.
Kiwimuncher returns to her chair, nibbling a piece of Pepper Jack with pleasure. Anything besides that terrible school porridge.
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Aggie looked the newcomer up and down, observing her brightly colored clothes. “Where is you uniform?” she asked politely. “Where did you get those clothes?”
“Mine were confiscated upon arrival,” Alice agreed.
“There’s a small storage wing off the left Proper Languages wing that the GRIMs have not discovered yet. I stored my things there,” Groundhog replied.
“And it has…color?” asked POSOC.
“Yes,” she replied, “and lights.”
“Maybe we ought to set to work there, after all, we might be caught at any moment,” Aggie pointed out. All of this dynamic fervor was making her palms sweaty.
((Too much PP-ing?))
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It was only after finishing the delicious, delectable, no flamablamablously scrumptious piece of cheese when kiwimuncher noticed that the newly arrived rebel has gone. Why had they left so quickly? It couldn’t have been the music and it would be blasphemy to suggest that it was the cheese.
Kiwimuncher leaped up in alarm and hurried to the door, opening it a crack and peeping out, only to see the supposed rebel motioning toward the door with….. *gulp* the GRIMS in tow. Oh &*%$!*#!
She closed the door in horror and ran to the speakers, turning off the music in a flash. “Quick” she cried. “Hide the cheese! We’ve gotta get out of here!”
Instantly, the room started to empty. Kiwimuncher turned to the cheese and stuffed it in a carefully hidden, refridgerated compartment. It would have to be retrieved later. She dashed to the door however, only to be grabbed by a burly GRIM. Sturggling fiercely, Kiwimuncher kicked out at the twisted dictator, but their grip was firm. As Kiwimuncher was dragged away, screaming, she barely saw out of the corner of her eye a small group of students, sneaking away down the hall.
Kiwimuncher smiled, despite herself and hoped they were up to no good.
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Kittymine sat in the computer lab, contemplating how she could get around her ridiculous assignment – learning how to type. Honestly, with a 65 Word Per Minute Average, it was illogical to force such an assignment on her. Of course, the GRIMs were anything but logical. With a sigh, she opened a her word file, trying to figure out how to continue with her story, when an idea came to her mind. Whipping her head around quickly to ensure that no one was looking, Kitty pulled a textbook entitled: How to hack a GRIM computer, by Groundhog. Placing the book over her notes, Kitty began to read. After about 15 minutes she slipped the book back into her bag and began hacking furiously. She knew that if the teacher noticed what she was doing, she would definitely get into serious trouble, but such was life. Another 10 minutes passed and Kitty had successfully hacked into the school network. Without a moment to lose, she inserted a memory-eating bug which would crash the network. Perfect.
A few minutes later, all the monitors went black. Smirking, Kitty slipped out of the computer lab as chaos erupted. Rushing around the corner, Kitty flew up to the lounge, relieved to have escaped. As she entered the lounge, Kitty noticed a group of her friends standing in the corner, looking rather agitated. She slipped over to them, trying not to look too conspicious.
“What’s going on?” she whispered, before noticing the book in POSOC’s hands.
‘Oh no – not that book.’
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Silver Lining (whose name was horribly changed to Edna. . . ew) entered the room to find a group of rebel MuseBloggers dancing around, eating cheese. “YUM! CHEESE!” she shouted, raising her voice to a volume banned by the GRIMs. She pucked a hunk of provalone off the table, shoved it in her face and started to dance along with the crowd. Suddenly, the ominous sound of high-heeled boots on school hallways drifted into the room.
The dancers stopped dead and cheese fell out of everyone’s mouths as the door creaked open. . .
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((33- EDIT: The book is actually in my bag, soon to be outside…but it’s cool.))
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“My uniform?” Groundhog said. “I threw it in the recycling bin. Then I rescued my real clothes from where I’d hidden them. I admit it makes me stick out, but I prefer this to that ridiculous uniform. And I’d be happy to show you the hiding spot.” Groundhog led them down the hall to the storage wing. Luckily no one caught them. She opened the door, letting out a bright shaft of colorful light. “I think I’m not the only one who hides stuff in here.” she whispered, scurrying into the room.
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I hurried down the hallway, hoping that I wouldn’t be late for the Learning to Use a Typewriter extracurricular class. I picked up my speed, nearing the end of the hall, until I crashed into something very large.
“Ms. Peace*” snapped Ms. Snorgswattle. “Why are you running in the halls? 14 demerits for that.”
“But, Ms. Snorgswattle, I am late for my class!” I sputtered.
“Well, then, hurry up!” she said, glaring.
((Is Filboid Studge still going to be herer tomorrow?))
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As the rest of the group hurried into the room, Zinc rubbed her eyes. She had forgotten how bright colors were. But such was Filboid Studge, the drearist establsihment on earth.
Groundhog waved the group over to the left wall. “If any GRIMs come,” she whispered, “Tap this wall five times. It’s an escape route.”
“If they were GAPAs, they’d think it was real nifty and join us,” Zinc grumbled under her breath.
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[[This is scandalous! People are against our beloved GRIMs. The GRIMs are everything good about the Gappas, with nothing bad put in. Filboid Studge is so much cleaner than the Muse Blog was.]]
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“Wow,” Aggie breathed. It was an expansive room, piled high with stacks of bright, colorful, entrancing and otherwise captivating trinkets of enjoyment and lore, the likes of which she had only dreamed she would ever find at Studge. There were desks, writing utensils, pie and chocolate and shelves full of books.
“OH, books!” cried Aggie. She rushed over to a shelf and pulled down “The Great Gatsby”, but before she could crack it open, POSOC called her back.
“We need to look at the more important book first,” he reminded her.
“Oh, right,” she blushed. From her bag, she drew the large, leatherbound book, and she placed it delicately on a nearby mahogany desk, which sparked in the faint light from a sky window above. Aggie had not noticed any light whatsoever at Studge when she had arrived, but it seemed there was lighting after all, even if if it was merely artificial. At least it gave the appearance of being realistic.
Alice gave POSOC the locket, which, Aggie noted, would fit perfectly into a small crevase-like lock at the edge of the large book.
“Ready?” asked Zinc.
“Let’s open it,” agreed Groundhog. POSOC stuck the locket into the lock, which flicked open with a small click and a uff of silver dust.
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Kiwimuncher glared up into the eyes of Mrs. Swampworthy. Her name was appropriate. Because the swamp was the one place where she belonged. Definately not in a learning environment!
“Mrs. Muncher” she squawked. “Is it true that you’ve been eating cheese?!”
“Oui madame.” Kiwi said mockingly. “J’ai mange fromage. J’adore le fromage.”
Madame Swampous narrowed her eyes wickedly at her charge. “Foreign languages are not to be spoken here Mrs. Muncher. Especially is it is one that any GRIM does not understand. We can not approve of any unregulated speech.”
“Tu es un ordure madame.” Kiwi retaliated.
Mrs. Swampthingy stood up from her desk, trying and failing to look impressive.
“Enough!” she shrieked. “To the dungeon for you. You’re impossible to cooperate with. I’ll just get one of your other little friends to tell me where you’re hiding your illegal food groups. This rebellion WILL be stopped!”
As Kiwimuncher was led away from the room, she satisfied herself with flipping out a pair of sunglasses and pushing them up on her nose.
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Wow, so many posts… By the way, this is POSOC. I just changed my name to be more appropriate to the theme.
“Now,” POSOC warned, “this is extremely dangerous. I was originally against even having this book on campus, but… desperate times, you know?”
“What does it actually do?” asked one of the younger FSers. “Lagomorphonomicon? Is that like Lovecraft’s work?”
“This book,” POSOC said, “was found in 1619, washed up on the shore of the North Sea in a sealed cask by a minor lord’s nephew. Robert Coontz inherited it in 2007. He scanned the first page into his computer and onto MuseBlog. That was March 30th. It caused the first and most serious bunny outbreak in history. After that, the GAPAs sealed the book, locked it… Tried to destroy it, but it wouldn’t burn, and throwing it away was risky. They gave the key to an MBer… er, FSer they trusted, and the stewardship switched around every few months. It’s one of the best kept secrets of the Mu- um, Studgerly community. We have no idea what reading the book out loud would do, but we’re going to try.”
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Groundhog watched with trepidation as POSOC unlocked the book. She knew what that book contained. Although their need was certainly great, she couldn’t help but be a little bit scared at using it.
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