As the successor to the “Muse Blog,” Filboid Studge takes most seriously its responsibility for guiding and shaping young minds. To make the transition as smooth as possibly, we have prepared this list of answers for the most obvious questions likely to arise among new Studgers:
Q. Who is in charge of the new Web Log?
Filboid Studge is run by four General Response Information Managers (GRIMs): Mr. Ekoeli Morgrool, Ms. Umbilica Snorgswattle, Mr. Fussel Swampworthy, and Ms. Fibula Troff. Roughly speaking, they will take over the functions of the Muse Blog’s “Gappas.” Mr. Morgrool is an expert in sludges, slurries, and mathematical word problems. Ms. Snorgswattle specializes in portable handicrafts and domestic science (formerly known as home economics). Mr. Swampworthy has a mastery of historical dates, timelines, kings, and wars. Ms. Troff is a talented taxidermist.
Q. What happened to the “Muse Blog”?
The “Muse Blog” ran afoul of the economic downturn, intensified by the administrative incompetence of its “Gappas.” In desperation, they sold the Web site to us, to be restored to a firm footing through sound management practices.
Q. Will there still be a Muse Academy?
Yes, Filboid Studge will continue to operate both the virtual school and its planned bricks-and-mortar successor, under the new name Studge Academy. Some things will change, of course. The slipshod policy of late sleeping and late classes will be replaced by a healthy regime of pre-dawn reveille, calisthenics, and bracing cold showers. Afternoon siestas will be discontinued. The curriculum will become more rigorous, rational, and standardized to meet students’ real-world needs and turn them into productive adults. Students will be reassigned to the four new houses: Morgrool, Snorgswattle, Swampworthy, and Troff.
Q. How will I know to which house I belong?
You will find out through a simple numerical calculation. Note the time of your first post on Filboid Studge, and add the digits. If the answer is less than 10, write down that number. Otherwise, add the digits of the new number to get another number less than 10. For example, if you post at 11:37, then you add 1+1+3+7 to get 12, and then 1+2 to get 3. Then,
- If your number is 1, 5, or 9, your house is Snorgswattle.
- If your number is 2 or 6, your house is Swampworthy.
- If your number is 3 or 7, your house is Morgrool.
- If your number is 4 or 8, your house is Troff.
Other questions will be answered as needed.
